No intimacy in marriage

I have been married to my husband for seven years. At first, our marriage seemed like a fairy tale. We shared dreams, mutual respect, and a love that felt unwavering. However, over the past two years, I began to feel a growing sense of dissatisfaction. These days, intimacy is lacking, and despite my attempts to communicate my feelings, the situation has remained unresolved. I loved my husband deeply, but the lack of physical connection is taking a toll on me emotionally and mentally. I feel lonely, unfulfilled and unhappy in this marriage. Can I obtain a divorce based on this situation?
EM, Dar es Salaam

We are sorry to hear about this. Navigating relationships can be incredibly difficult and emotional. In many places, a lack of physical connection or intimacy can be straight forward grounds for divorce, especially if it leads to emotional and mental distress. However, in Tanzania, the Law of Marriage Act [Cap. 29 R.E 2019] (LMA) stipulates that a marriage must have broken down irreparably for a Court to grant a divorce. Section 99 of the LMA provides that any married person may petition the Court for a decree of separation or divorce on the basis that his or her marriage has broken down, but no decree of divorce shall be granted unless the Court is satisfied that the breakdown is irreparable.

Furthermore, section 107 states that, in a divorce petition, the Court will consider all relevant evidence regarding the parties’ conduct and circumstances. The Court will not grant a decree if the petition is based solely on the petitioner’s wrongdoing. Additionally, the Court will take into account the customs of the parties’ community. In making its decision, the Court may accept evidence that a marriage has broken down, although such proof does not guarantee a decree. This evidence may include adultery, particularly if repeated or continued despite protests; sexual perversion; cruelty, whether mental or physical, towards the petitioner or children; wilful neglect; desertion by the respondent for at least 3 years, if wilful; voluntary separation or separation by decree for at least 3 years; imprisonment of the respondent for life or at least 5 years; mental illness as certified by at least 2 doctors with no hope of cure or recovery; and a change of religion, if both parties followed the same faith at marriage and the change dissolves the marriage according to that faith’s laws.

The lack of intimacy must be linked to the criteria listed above for you to convince the Court to grant you a divorce, and unfortunately it is not straight forward. Alternatively, you may also seek help from a therapist to better understand the situation and find a way to address the issue constructively. Your lawyer can guide you further.